"easy comes, easy goes"

Lately I’ve been thinking about the different types of relationships I’ve had in my life. There are the ones that have educated and nurtured me, there are the ones that have taught me how to treat people and how I don’t want to be treated and there are the ones that have showed me how things and people are not always what they look like.
We’ve heard many times that “not all that glitters is gold” and if humanity was a little more optimistic, there would exist a phrase that would make us see how positive and reassuring things can come out to be from situations we didn’t think were so fortunate.

Just like life can bring us plenty of good surprises, it can also bring us people we never even imagined we would keep around as friends. It’s happened to me a couple of times that the people I call “best friends” didn’t come easy in the first place, maybe we didn’t really like each other in the beginning and only time has given us the chance to really get to know each other and appreciate the nice persons that hide behind a misfortunate “first impression”.

I’m talking about this because last Saturday I went to this party (one of my best friends’ birthday) and while I was there toasting with champagne and dancing my ass off I got to thinking about how I met and became friends with each one of them, specially the birthday boy and I remembered that when we just met none of us imagined we would end up having so much fun and sharing so many moments.
I’ve talked to him about our not so good “first impression” many times and we’ve both agreed on how difficult it is to really see a person when you first meet them. Through years of friendship we’ve discovered good and bad things about each other but we’re still around and we still care about our friendship no matter our flaws and faults. We’re still together supporting each other and helping us grow and learn.
As a relationship that has taught me a lot, I can say that I’ve learnt sharing and loyalty from him but the most important thing I’ve learnt is that things we work hard for are the ones we value the most. What easy comes, easy goes and I’m glad to say that the friendships that have cost me the most to discover are the ones that will hardly fade away.

Thank you very much birthday boy for being our Angel and taking good care of us, thanks for everything you’ve taught us, this words are for you, your last gift of this year’s bunch of gifts. I really hope you enjoy them. Thank you for sticking around even though we didn’t have the greatest “first impression”. Thank you for letting us see the nice person that you are.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Para Carmen

Lo más maravilloso de la vida es que nunca sabemos realmente lo que tiene preparado para nosotros.
Algunas veces no tenemos idea de lo que va a suceder o qué es lo que nos espera: bueno o malo, qué tipo de gente tocará nuestras vidas o qué tipo de problemas o retos nos vamos a encontrar.
Si pensamos de manera negativa entonces lo que viene adelante no es más que problemas o experiencias amargas pero todo depende de cómo queramos tomarlo porque si cambiamos esa manera negativa de pensar a una positiva, entonces lo que nos espera no es más que algo bueno y útil: gente valiosa por conocer y eventos importantes que nos pueden dejar las lecciones más enriquecedoras.
Sé que hablar de una manera linda acerca de esto, lo hace sonar más sencillo de lo que parece pero realmente hay todo un proceso de aprendizaje atrás de esto… para algunos es fácil pensar positivamente pero para alguien a veces realista y a veces negativa como yo, no ha sido fácil regresar a ver todo positivamente y con ojos ingenuos como alguna vez lo vi.
Deshacerse de ese mal hábito de la negatividad cuesta mucho trabajo pero yo misma me he sorprendido de las cosas que he podido lograr una vez que pongo toda mi voluntad en ello; creo que si mi vida terminara hoy, en este mismo instante, me iría tranquila porque la he utilizado para aprender mucho y crecer. Mi vida me ha obligado a salir de mi “zona de confort” varias veces y tener que adaptarme a nuevas circunstancias, tener que hacer lo que puedo con lo que tengo y a tener fe en que pase lo que pase, voy a estar bien. Creo que de haber sido una persona obsesiva en varias áreas de mi vida, he pasado a ser una persona que ocasionalmente se da el gusto de relajarse y de soltar un poco el control y hacer eso, por muy fácil que parezca, me ha costado mucho trabajo.

No todo tiene que estar perfecto, no tengo que saber y aclarar todo, no tengo que luchar por causas que no me corresponden. He aprendido a que el tiempo resuelve las dudas que realmente merecen ser resueltas y a que las respuestas llegan por el medio y en el momento adecuado, también he aprendido a que debo luchar las batallas que realmente me retribuirán algo y no las que sólo me dejarán más lastimada.
Tampoco tengo que ser perfecta ni física ni mentalmente, creo que la gente que está a mi lado es porque me estima tal como soy…

Creo que una de las lecciones más importantes que he aprendido es que las cosas no deben ser perfectas para poder disfrutarse. Como lo he mencionado en otros posts, yo he tenido que aprender a hacer algo tan simple como “disfrutar” de la vida y esta lección de no buscar sólo lo perfecto para ser feliz es justamente la que me ha permitido aprender a disfrutar de muchas cosas. Por poner algunos ejemplos, me he dado cuenta de que no todo tiene que estar estructurado y organizado para tener un uso. No tengo que llevar la ropa o el maquillaje perfecto para salir en la noche y divertirme. No tengo que tener toda la semana planeada con horarios y citas para preparar algo maravilloso el viernes o el sábado, ésta era una de las manías que tenía y me he dado cuenta de que los momentos más divertidos son los que menos se han planeado y la más importante: no tengo que decir “no voy”, “no quiero” o “no me gusta” a algo que no conozco porque el hecho de ir, querer o probar algo diferente es lo que me ha dado el gusto de conocer cosas que me han gustado, que me han hecho bien y que he adoptado en mi estilo de vida.
La verdad no sé si las personas noten cuando les suceden este tipo de cambios en la vida, creo que normalmente notamos lo mal que estábamos cuando logramos dar ese paso grande y situarnos en una mejor posición para comparar. La verdad no tengo idea si alguna vez ustedes se hayan sentido así o si en algo se identifiquen con esto, es por esta razón que lo escribo en primera persona, porque simplemente no puedo generalizar sin saber cómo se sienten los demás o si han pasado por este tipo de cambios cuya importancia radica en que estén ahí y que nos hagan ser mejores personas, que nos hagan la vida más práctica, más sencilla. La vida ya trae pruebas demasiado complicadas como para que nosotros la compliquemos aún más.

El día de hoy este post está en español porque está dedicado a la memoria de mi madre cuyo aniversario luctuoso es justo hoy. Eso me hace pensar en la importancia que le damos a las fechas de los extremos de nuestras vidas: el día que nacemos y el día que morimos. Son tan importantes que aparecen debajo de nuestro nombre en la tumba y ahí se quedan por siempre pero yo creo que más que recordar el principio y el final debemos tomar en cuenta fechas que nos marcan aún más: las fechas en las que aprendemos lecciones fuertes, lecciones que nos hacen crecer o que nos hacen perder el control para después recuperarlo con más fuerza. Estas fechas son las que importan y desafortunadamente muy pocas veces las tomamos en cuenta ignorando que nos han cambiado la vida.

Lo más maravilloso de la vida es que hace 11 años no tenía idea de que justamente hoy estaría escribiendo esto, de que existirían los blogs y de que lo estaría compartiendo con ustedes, no tenía idea de lo que iba a ser mi vida todo este tiempo ni de lo que iba aprender o a quienes iba a conocer pero todo ha sido bueno y útil para mí así que estoy segura de que lo viene igual de bueno será.
Los quiero, gracias por leerme.

bulletproof ?

There are so many things on my mind today but one thought is particularly stronger than the others. Since last night, I’ve been thinking about how tough we can really be and how difficult it is to hide exactly how we feel…
It is well known that arts exist because of that human need of expression. The things we create speak for ourselves and there are many different ways of showing our feelings: music, writing, dancing, sculpting, etc but each one of them always speaks louder than words.
Arts make humans transparent for taking away our ability to hide anything. Those who really need to turn to any mean of expression become totally naked and helpless when their most sincere feelings are exposed; I guess this is exactly why thousands and thousands of persons around the world are closeted writers, composers or any kind of artists. I bet you have been surprised some time by any friend you thought you knew really well and then you discover that he or she have been a silent artist for a long time but let me tell you that expressing our most personal emotions is really hard because it shows that we are not bulletproof and that certain things in life can really bring us down sometimes, it may even make us weak to people’s eyes and that’s something nobody likes to admit. The weirdest thing about it is that most people need to see other’s acknowledge of weakness before they can acknowledge their own; in a funny way we may think of artists as sensitive and fragile for confessing their impressions but what it really takes to share your feelings is courage, so maybe artists are not as weak as we thought.

I used the term “bulletproof” above to describe people able to prevent anything from the outside to hurt them, but what happens to them in the inside? What happens to all those emotions they need to get rid of? Are they bulletproof from the inside to the outside as well? We hear all the time that it’s not very healthy to keep certain kind of negative emotions and thoughts inside so what happens when they fight so hard to keep them in? Don’t these emotions hurt them exactly as bad as some events in the outside would? I don’t really know, I haven’t been the kind of person who keeps her thoughts to herself, as much as I try to ignore or deny them, sooner or later they always find a way out… maybe it’s better this way.
Maybe artists and people who acknowledge their sensibility are the ones who are made bulletproof, because once they’ve shared their feelings they know they may be forced to deal with criticism and rejection…

What do you think my friends?

“…and I lived happily ever after.”

A few nights ago I saw this movie about reality turning into a fairy tale with a happy ending, good winning over evil and magic all over the place… I liked it, and then it suddenly hit me that in most of this kind of movies its children the ones that believe in magic not adults and I couldn’t help wonder why. The only reason I found is that when we are little we have no idea how cruel reality can be sometimes. We are trapped between innocence and ignorance and this makes us see life through naive eyes.
But when is it that we stop believing? Is it when something cruel shakes our reality and bursts our bubble? Or does believing just fades away as we grow older?

When I was little I used to be naive and easily fooled but I was hopeful…then a little piece of reality bursted my bubble making me realize that bad things can happen to me too. That fact made me grow before my time; it kicked ignorance out of my life and made me aware of things regular teenagers just don’t think about.

That particular event that changed my life caught me totally off guard and by surprise, ever since, I’ve found really helpful being alert of everything around me, this awareness is what keeps me safe and helps me protect whenever I feel insecure or in danger.

As a result I became a little cynical and suspicious for my age but that really worked out for me. For a long time it was really helpful to foresee things that could happen in life, but I’ve recently noticed that total control and monitoring isn’t good either, it's too exhausting...
Fortunately life has showed me that as hopeless and discouraged as I can feel sometimes, there’s always some happenstance that brings hope back. I’ve learnt that good events are the ones hard to predict and life is better that way because we wouldn’t enjoy them so much if we knew they’re coming.
I can definitely point out those sad events that have made me a little skeptical but honestly I can also point out those events that have brought magic back into my life and that have reminded me that magic does exist. I’m sure those are meant to exist in our lives to remind us that sometimes life can be like a fairy tale, even if it’s only for one night or just a couple of days… think about it, I’m sure that we can all think of certain moments that made us feel like we were living in a dream so never ever stop believing because there’s a fairy tale ahead, waiting for us to be ready to enjoy it.

Being able to see magic happen in front of your eyes is not a matter of age, it's just a matter of faith and trust.

"ghost"

Ren: I know you don't read blogs, not even mine but this post is for you... Thanks for knowing what this quest for the perfect ghost means...

A few months ago I read this quotation by Rochefoucauld: "True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen"... right after, I tried to remember if I'd ever seen a ghost, fortunately I can say that I've seen that ghost, that true love everybody wants for themselves yet doubt to be real...

True love exists, yet I don't understand why people don't want to believe in it, is it because they're afraid of it? Is it because they're afraid of getting hurt? Some ghosts can be spookier than others but each one of us has our own reason not to believe in something we might have never seen before but let me ask you something, has it ever happened to you that you're looking for something and it's right there in front of you but you just can't see it? Maybe love is like that, we might even be truly loved but we are not able to see it as we take it for granted.

Think about it for a while, we think that love is perfect. We have this idea that love has to be easy and if you're looking to find that out there, maybe this is why you'll never see this ghost, because you're looking for the wrong ghost. Love is the most imperfect thing you can imagine. It's filled with mistakes, lessons, forgiveness, anger, patience, sadness, joy and all these emotions that mixed together can result in something so pure called love, just like all colors mixed together make white.

To see love we have to keep our eyes open and we need to learn how to recognize it... We can't pretend to see this ghost everywhere because it’s not found that easily. Most of the times we don't know what it looks like, most of the times it doesn’t look like we want it to; there’s nothing else to do but to keep a hopeful light in our hearts that will guide this ghost to us, through rough and dark paths.

"geek"

do you ever wish you were someone else? well sometimes I do, especially when I realize that many other people have certain qualities I wish I had…
most of the time people think I’m outgoing, cheerful and confident, and I probably look like that but I don’t think that myself...
I like talking to people, getting to know them, hearing their stories and learning from them but is that really being outgoing? I love dancing and singing but that doesn’t mean I’m cheerful, to be honest, I tend to focus on the negative side of things most of the time…

all this makes me think that most of the time we judge based on the looks, we make assumptions not based on reality and when we think we know someone, we probably don’t have a clue about who they really are.
we are getting used to rejecting people without even getting to know them first. we expect a certain behavior based on the looks, if we see some beautiful guy or girl we expect them to be stupid or maybe easygoing and sexy. whenever we see someone who wears glasses and isn’t interested in fashion we refer to them as “geeks”, but this can’t be more wrong, I know this because sometimes people might get the wrong idea of who I really am; honestly I’m just a geek in the closet who wishes she could dance better to get the guy she wants.

I bet there are plenty of people out there wishing they were prettier, sexier, and funnier or maybe a different person sometimes but the thing is that we all want to be someone else from time to time, it’s only human to wish we had something we want and has been denied by any circumstance.
I’ve learnt that all we need to do is to stop focusing on what we lack of and value and appreciate what has been given to us, our own talents and qualities. this great advice I’ve been given by one of my best friends and it’s been helpful because geek or not I’m loved by many people just as I am.