So here I am looking for something to watch on TV and suddenly I stumble upon my favorite series' reruns on E!
Everybody who knows me sure knows which one that is, but that's actually not very important right now. What this fact brought into my mind was the memory of what I was doing the first time that I saw this show and how things have changed ever since. I can actually recall this image of myself watching the dvd's laying in my bed and just feeling miserable: I was unemployed and there was so much going on in my mind at that time, mostly stupid barriers that wouldn't allow me to do anything out of fear... fear of making mistakes, fear of loss...
Everybody who knows me sure knows which one that is, but that's actually not very important right now. What this fact brought into my mind was the memory of what I was doing the first time that I saw this show and how things have changed ever since. I can actually recall this image of myself watching the dvd's laying in my bed and just feeling miserable: I was unemployed and there was so much going on in my mind at that time, mostly stupid barriers that wouldn't allow me to do anything out of fear... fear of making mistakes, fear of loss...
When I look back then I realize that I've made my share of mistakes; I've finally understood that that's exactly what we're here for: falling off the bike and standing up to try again.
I've sure lost many things and people on the way but I will always keep what they taught me and I'll always be glad that they touched my life. Somehow I've dared to change and move in a direction that I would've never imagined. I'm not saying all my fears went away because I can still feel some of them in me but probably I just learnt how to put them aside for a while and just jump into life.
I kind of feel like I'm back at the beginning. But life is a cycle and we'll definitely end up back where we started some times, the thing is that we're a different person when that happens and those chances that we ask of going back to the beginning carrying what we know in the present are actually given to us by life. It is tricky I know but it's all part of living in the present and not worrying about the past which you can't change or the future which hasn't even arrived yet... to me this has got to be one of the most important lessons that this cycle called life has given me.
This has definitely proved to me that most of the time we worry too much but I've seen with my own eyes that we worry about something that is not even there yet. We worry about something that is just in our head. I know we might base our fear on previous experience but we must keep in mind that we learn, grow and change incredibly fast and that every time a scary situation comes to us it is a different person that will face it. Never doubt your ability to acquire new skills, new courage and wisdom, you might actually surprise yourself, I know I did.
